I had a dream a couple of nights ago that I had a preemie baby and that she wasn’t responding to me in any way and didn’t cry when she was hungry so I kept forgetting to feed her. She was about as tiny as my 12 oz 21-weeker, but I was cradling her in my arm and bringing her around with me at a church meeting.
For awhile after I lost my first preemie at 21-weeks (in 2004) I would have dreams like this. In each dream I was proud to be a mommy and happy to show off my baby but my baby was always sleeping and never opened its eyes and never responded to me in any way. I longed for my baby to look at me and respond to my love for him.
Having these dreams then made perfect sense considering my loss, but this dream was out of the blue and has left me feeling frightened again of having a preemie… and sad.
I am not pregnant and have no plans to get pregnant again for several years if I do at all. I have felt very hopeful and confident in the future for our family, but this dream shook me up a little and reminded me of what can happen.
Have any of you had dreams about having another preemie, or do you dream about a preemie that you lost? How do you shake off the fear or sadness that stays with you for days afterward?