About Me
I lost my firstborn son when he was born at just 21w2d gestation. He weighed only 12 ounces and was 10 1/4 inches long. I had a perfect pregnancy until painful contractions hit suddenly at 21-weeks. Being totally uneducated about labor and delivery, I did not know I was in labor until it was too late to stop it. My membranes bulged to about the size of a softball, I was life-flighted 4-hours away, and then because nothing was stopping my contractions there was nothing left to do to save my baby. His heart beat strong for 54 minutes and my husband and I had a peaceful and spiritual experience with our families surrounding his birth and death. We buried our son in my husband’s hometown where we were living at the time. (Follow this link to read The Story of My 21-Weeker)
We wanted another child right away but it took 1 1/2 years to get pregnant again. I was excited and confident that all would be well this time around. However, I was devastated when I went into spontaneous preterm labor again and delivered a baby girl, per emergency c-section, at just 27w3d gestation. She weighed 2 lb 9 oz and was life-flighted immediately to the nearest NICU, four hours from our home. Arriving a few days later I was intimidated and confused by the NICU, and terrified of my tiny red baby covered in tubes and wires. My husband and I felt completely alone and didn’t know where to turn for support or where to get information that would help us through our experience. I moved in with family near the hospital and my husband returned home to finish his schooling. Being separated during that time was extremely difficult – we didn’t even have each other to hold on to for strength.
I struggled to understand NICU procedures and protocol, I started pumping every three hours, and I spent as much time as possible every day at my baby’s side. For over six weeks I stared at her through her isolette and held her hand and talked to her when I could. I lived off of vending machine and coffee shop snacks, took naps in the parent’s lounge, and called my husband every day to give him an update. My baby struggled with a PDA, jaundice, anemia, blood transfusions, growth and eating, but her biggest issue was breathing. She was on high-frequency oscillators, ventilators, CPAP, and finally nasal cannula (she also used headbox oxygen and an oxygen tent toward the end of her stay). Having strength to breastfeed was a struggle for my baby but I loved breastfeeding so much! It was the first opportunity I had to bond with her, which meant so much to me. I loved the OTs and relied so much on good, friendly nurses who helped to educate me and give me peace of mind concerning my baby’s care.
My preemie spent 94 days in the NICU, most of that time during the holidays, and even stayed past her due date. It was so hard to watch babies go home all around me while my baby’s progress was slow. She grew well but still could not take many feedings orally. By the time discharge day arrived she weighed almost eight pounds and was by far the biggest baby in the NICU! We took her home on oxygen, three medications, and fortified breastmilk. After we got home she stayed on oxygen for about six weeks, and medications for six to eight weeks longer. I was able to stop fortifying her milk only four to six weeks after bringing her home, so she really thrived amidst the love and peace of our home. What a joy it was to have our family together at last.
Since that time I have been blessed with one more sweet baby whom after four months of strict bedrest, progesterone shots, steroid shots, and many ultrasounds, cervical lengths, and manual exams was born two days overdue.
What a tender experience it is to hold a special baby in your arms when his spirit returns to his heavenly home, what a miracle it is to watch tiny babies survive the risks of prematurity, and what a blessing it is to hold a healthy full-term baby in your arms after months of difficulty and sacrifices!
My 27-weeker preemie is now four years old and looks like any other toddler out there. She is fun and spirited and the joy of my life. Since leaving the NICU, and over the past four years, I have desired to help and support other parents through their journey with their preemies. I have wanted to provide a social hub where preemie parents could band together and help each other through the ups and downs of the NICU and raising preemie babies. A few months ago I started www.preemiebabies101.com in hopes of accomplishing that purpose. I invite you to join our community, read the experiences, opinions, and stories of other preemie parents, and share your fears, thoughts, hopes, and experiences with us as well. I hope you will join us for your benefit and for ours!
Wishing you and your preemie(s) good health and strength,
Afton Mower
P.S. If you would like to share your story or become an author for the blog please fill out the Contact Me page. To add your pictures to the preemie slideshow on the homepage or to one of the preemie picture posts please send me an email at afton[at]preemiebabies101[dot]com. For specific preemie-related questions or thoughts you would like to discuss please join our community in the Forum. Thanks for getting involved in Preemie Babies 101!
