Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Angela’s Story: Part 2

Parent Highlight

This is the second of six posts dedicated to sharing one couple’s struggle to have children and then the survival of their preemie twins plus their third preemie baby.  They are currently expecting again and are taking new steps toward achieving a full-term delivery.  This is Angela’s Story.

I sat numbly as my doctor came in and explained our options. The baby was measuring 15 weeks, so a D&C could still be done. I could also choose to be induced and have a stillbirth. I could not imagine going through the pain and work of labor and delivery without being able to take my baby home. I opted for the D&C. We were at the hospital for several hours filling out paperwork for pre-admission. Then we were sent home to return the next morning for the procedure.

I don’t remember a lot about that night or the following day. I know I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I sat staring at my bulging stomach knowing that my baby was dead inside of me. I remember waiting and waiting at the hospital the next morning for the procedure. I remember waking up afterward with tears already streaming down my face knowing that my baby was gone. I do not know if that baby was a boy or a girl. I sometimes regret not giving birth so I could at least see my first child.

The next several months were filled with grief and pain. We began trying to get pregnant again after the allotted time. Finally, six months later, I was pregnant again. This time, there was fear and anxiety instead of joy. I didn’t really let myself believe I was pregnant. At seven weeks, my greatest fear came true. I started spotting. I went in for an ultrasound, and there was the flutter of a tiny heartbeat. The baby was measuring a little small, but at least it was alive. They gave me progesterone pills to take twice daily. I took the first pill as soon as I got home. It was no use. Within hours I had lost my second baby.

(Please feel free to comment and share your similar experiences for Angela’s benefit, and for the rest of us.  Thank you)

>>> Continue to Angela’s Story: Part 3 or begin at Part 1.

Afton Mower About Afton Mower

After Mower (UT) lost her firstborn son at 21 weeks.  Her daughter was born a year and a half later at 27 weeks.  The NICU was overwhelming and isolating and it was through those two experiences she was led to found this social hub for parents to find the support they needed. Afton also gave birth to another daughter, born two days overdue after four months of strict bedrest. She believes it is a tender experience to hold a special baby in your arms when his spirit returns to his heavenly home, a miracle to watch tiny babies survive the risks of prematurity and a blessing to hold a healthy full-term baby after months of difficulty and sacrifices.

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