Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

The Moment I Became a Dad

There we were, sitting in a dimly lit room preparing ourselves for our 24-week ultrasound. The sonographer reached for the gel bottle as my wife unveiled her emerging baby bump. She gave the bottle a gentle squeeze and not-so-gentle sound broke the silence. I am not sure what it is about these gel bottles, but I am […]

Expecting After a Preemie: A Worrier’s Journey to Joy

Over the years, my wife has asked me many questions seconds after I fall asleep. Typically her questions cycle through the topics of shutting the garage, taking out the trash, locking the front door, or hearing a sound outside. Her timing is impeccable.

“Do you think Sloane will be a good big sister?”

This was a new one.

Despite its uniqueness, I handled the question exactly as I would any other as I drifted off to sleep: I plugged it into my mental autopilot answer-creating algorithm. While it sounds fancy, it’s actually pretty simple. All I have to do is not think about the question, quickly generate three facts that may or may not be valid, grunt out a single word response, and resume sleeping. It is a technique I have mastered to combat my wife’s sleep depriving precision.

For this question, my brain considered the following facts:

Fact: Sloane is an only child and only grandchild.

Fact: Sloane has a great-grandmother, three grandmothers, and two grandfathers all living within ten minutes of her.

Fact: Sloane has twenty-two pairs of shoes. Sloane doesn’t wear shoes.

My subconscious formed its conclusion: In her eleven months on earth, Sloane has been the lead singer in a solo band and has enjoyed every second of it. Move over Celine, we have a new diva in the making. This was an easy one. I chose my single-word response, grunted “nope,” and drifted off to the sweet sounds of Celine singing “My Heart Will Go On.” When my wife didn’t respond, the safety feature in my mental autopilot answer-creating algorithm kicked in. I roused and uttered the word, “why.”

I haven’t slept since. [Read more]