Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Yearning for connection after miscarriage

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For more information on grief and healing, visit Hand to Hold’s bereavement resources.  I have never liked visions of heaven that have it be a separate place, a place where we float as souls disconnected from our bodies. You know, the halo, the harp and the clouds? […]

Bob the Nurse and Learning to be a Useful Dad

One day in June, Miri and I walked to the front desk of the NICU to sign in. My head briefly felt like there was a bubble of thin air around it and everything outside the bubble was moving too fast. I remembered the first time I felt this way was when our son, Gabriel, […]

{Professional Insight} Postpartum Depression & PTSD in Fathers

This post is the first installment in a three-part series on PPD and PTSD in NICU parents. Visit part 2 of the series: Postpartum Depression after a Complicated Delivery, and part 3: Postpartum PTSD: How to Manage a Traumatic Birth Experience. We spend a lot of time talking about the postpartum wellbeing of moms. But fathers are […]

Father’s Day: Nostalgic Grief & Helping Out Dads

Father’s Day elicits a weird type of nostalgic grief for me. That may sound a bit odd, considering I’m not a father (or a man, for that matter) and my father is alive and well and we’ve always had a good relationship. It’s a grief I probably don’t share with my husband, either because he could go the entire year without celebrating a single holiday and never notice. But my husband’s first Father’s Day, in 2013, as he looked at and (restrictively) cared for our 2-pound son, was really the day I realized that fatherhood came knocking loud and hard and rudely at my husband’s door, and how he took it with such stride. He was SO proud of his son, that it almost made the whole new-to-parenthood thing seem somewhat normal.

Looking back, our 103-day NICU stay for our 26 weeker was a blur in the beginning. We coped well; both my husband and I were emotionally in good places (albeit completely exhausted). But one thing that was honestly not on my mind much, and I’m sure somewhat understandably, was how I could have bene helpful and supportive of my husband during this time. So often with new babies, the mom receives the attention and most of the sympathy. Dads are the other parent too, though. And looking back, these are just a couple of things I would give my past-self some advice on. [Read more]

Thanking My Husband on Father’s Day: Showing Love in the NICU

My husband was not new to being a dad when our preemie was born 3 months before her due date. In fact, as our third child and third daughter at that, he felt experienced and confident as we looked forward to her birth. That changed when we found ourselves looking at her through the barrier […]