Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Yearning for connection after miscarriage

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For more information on grief and healing, visit Hand to Hold’s bereavement resources.  I have never liked visions of heaven that have it be a separate place, a place where we float as souls disconnected from our bodies. You know, the halo, the harp and the clouds? […]

Speaking to the Unspeakable: Lifting the Stigma Around Mental Health After the NICU

When my surviving son was finally discharged from the NICU, he cried for about three months straight. Literally. My husband and I called it the daily “witching hour”, though it was hardly an hour. It lasted on average from 3-8pm daily (in addition to other fussy moments). We researched and researched ways of soothing him. We tried driving, swaddling, babywearing, swinging, reflux meds, playing music (The Velvet Underground and Nico was his favorite album), singing, dancing, jumping around holding him on our shoulder, rubbing his back, going outside, and all kinds of folkloric colic remedies that came to no particularly different outcomes. I was exhausted, deflated, and my feelings of guilt and shame with preterm birth were compounded by the idea that now that I was finally able to be Elliott’s sole provider as a newly stay-at-home mom, I was failing even at that. [Read more]

When Hello Means Goodbye

“I’m so sorry.” The beginning of what was about to be a life changing moment for me. Hearing those words from the ultrasound technician caused instant tears. My heart stopped. The next words tore me apart from the inside: “You’re baby’s heart is not beating anymore.” How could this be? What did I do wrong? […]

Kate’s Story of Loss & Personalized Book GIVEAWAY

When Sam died, I remember feeling so utterly alone – like I was the only person in the world that this could possibly have happened to. My connection with other baby loss parents from all over the world, made me realise, that this wasn’t true – that there were families in every corner of the globe trying to wade through the same murky waters of grief. [Read more]

Learning the Language of Grief: Telling a Twinless Twin About Their Twin

My son woke up tonight from a nightmare. He told me his best friend was dead. As a parent of a twinless twin, the symbolism was very difficult for me. A best friend. Dead. Could the image in his nightmare have been his brother? How do you go about telling a little boy that there […]