Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Pregnancy After Preterm Birth or Loss

by Felicia Nash, MD, OB/GYN  Making the decision to try and conceive after a pregnancy loss or preterm birth involves both emotional and physical health components. Often couples faced with this decision spent agonizing weeks, months or years dealing with the pregnancy and/or NICU stay. Attend to Your Emotional Health First Grief counseling is a […]

A Letter to My Doctor

Dear Trusted Doctor, I knew at 16 weeks. At 18 weeks I spoke up. At 20 weeks I pleaded. At 22 weeks it was too late to stop. Despite aggressive measures at 23 weeks, five days, I cradled two perfectly formed babies in my arms. For two hours I held them, kissed them, whispered over […]

Yearning for connection after miscarriage

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For more information on grief and healing, visit Hand to Hold’s bereavement resources.  I have never liked visions of heaven that have it be a separate place, a place where we float as souls disconnected from our bodies. You know, the halo, the harp and the clouds? […]

Speaking to the Unspeakable: Lifting the Stigma Around Mental Health After the NICU

When my surviving son was finally discharged from the NICU, he cried for about three months straight. Literally. My husband and I called it the daily “witching hour”, though it was hardly an hour. It lasted on average from 3-8pm daily (in addition to other fussy moments). We researched and researched ways of soothing him. We tried driving, swaddling, babywearing, swinging, reflux meds, playing music (The Velvet Underground and Nico was his favorite album), singing, dancing, jumping around holding him on our shoulder, rubbing his back, going outside, and all kinds of folkloric colic remedies that came to no particularly different outcomes. I was exhausted, deflated, and my feelings of guilt and shame with preterm birth were compounded by the idea that now that I was finally able to be Elliott’s sole provider as a newly stay-at-home mom, I was failing even at that. [Read more]

When Hello Means Goodbye

“I’m so sorry.” The beginning of what was about to be a life changing moment for me. Hearing those words from the ultrasound technician caused instant tears. My heart stopped. The next words tore me apart from the inside: “You’re baby’s heart is not beating anymore.” How could this be? What did I do wrong? […]