Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Elizabeth’s Story: Part 2

Nicu babyTwelve hours later, Callie developed blood infections that caused her oxygen to drop. They would “bag” her for a few moments then bring her back up to normal. They moved her to an oscillator with nitric gas to breath for her. That night was a rough one. I wasn’t sure what to think. Daddy came back to the hospital the next day. I had sat by Callie’s bed all night. We went to my room to get some sleep. Tuesday our preacher came up to see Callie. By that time we thought that she was going to leave us that night. They would bag her every 5 minutes. It was a rough day. She had been through so much already.

I prayed to God and told Him that He could have her if that was His will. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. To just receive this precious gift from heaven, then have to give her back so soon. It didn’t seem fair. When Matthew came back to the room, he told me that she was still critical, but stable. We went to bed that night worried.

The next day, Wednesday, the doctor told us that they thought she might have a brain bleed. This was caused from the bagging to bring her oxygen up. We didn’t know how bad it was. They did the test and found out that the level was a 3, with 4 being the worst, we feared the worst.

Wednesday was about the same. It was an emotional roller coaster. Callie’s grandparents, aunts and uncles all came to see her that night. She was doing ok. I expressed the concern to her doctor that if worse came to worse and Callie wasn’t going to make it, I wanted to hold her before she passes, because I didn’t want her in that incubator alone. I wanted her to know that I was with her, and that I loved her so much. She was with me when she came into the world, and I wanted her with me if she was to slip out of the world.

Continue Reading Elizabeth’s Story: Part 3

Return to Elizabeth’s Story: Part 1

Afton Mower About Afton Mower

After Mower (UT) lost her firstborn son at 21 weeks.  Her daughter was born a year and a half later at 27 weeks.  The NICU was overwhelming and isolating and it was through those two experiences she was led to found this social hub for parents to find the support they needed. Afton also gave birth to another daughter, born two days overdue after four months of strict bedrest. She believes it is a tender experience to hold a special baby in your arms when his spirit returns to his heavenly home, a miracle to watch tiny babies survive the risks of prematurity and a blessing to hold a healthy full-term baby after months of difficulty and sacrifices.

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