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I wish that I had known that I, as the mother, could take charge of my baby's care and accept or refuse any procedures suggested in the NICU.  I don't think that I would have really changed anything or changed how my preemie was cared for, but it would have been liberating and empowering to realize that that tiny baby was mine and ultimately I was responsible for her.  I did not like feeling like everything was out of my control and I was unimportant in my daughter's life for her most crucial few weeks.