Comments on: Losing A Baby & Losing Your Pregnancy

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:26:08 +0000

My husband and I recently got married, yey, and decided to try to have a baby…to my surprise, we got our prayers answered within 2 months. I had been told for the past 10 years I was not able to have children, but someone somewhere thought otherwise :) Needless to say we were elated…I had my what would have been my 5 month check up, excited to see if we were to have a boy or girl…that was just yesterday…I lost my first baby, or came to this knowledge yesterday…I was what we thought to be 20 weeks. Come to find out my sweet one ceased at 16-17 weeks to reasons yet known. I am struggling with the fact that a D&C is not an option and I must deliver my baby, I can not begin to fathom not being able to to my baby home. The worst words is to hear you doctor say “I can’t locate a heartbeat”… The stories I have read from each of you that have had this same misfortune, and your positive outlook are helping more than I would have ever thought an online blog could…and how this isn’t the end of my attempts, even though the mere thought of trying again (not too soon out of fear) are not out of the question. Thank you all, even if you are just words on a page….

By: Megan Johnson Smedley

Megan Johnson Smedley — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 00:34:08 +0000

Afton, I ran across your website not too long ago, and have read SO much! I first found it as your family blog then saw all the links to your premie website on the blog. I miscarried a couple months ago, and have found a lot of comfort in your postings. Seems weird, but it really helped to hear you and other moms talking about it. My first pregnancy was so easy. We also had a very easy time getting pregnant. But now, we’ve been trying for months, and when I finally did get pregnant I was so excited! Only to find out at 7 weeks i was going to miscarry. I didnt want a D&C since there was a small chance that i could still have a healthy baby. I finally miscarried at 11 weeks, and i was devastated. I told my husband after my first child we may have to adopt because i wasnt so sure i wanted to be pregnant ever again. That was then. Now, i would give anything to be throwing up all day. To wake up in the night to go to the bathroom. to be uncomfortable. At least then I would have a baby. Your blog has opened up a whole new door to me of what it really means to have a hard time. I never imagined when i first got pregnant with my son that anything would ever go wrong. I am so thankful that nothing did, but I have had my eyes opened to what can go wrong. Thank you so much for your website and all this information that you have made available! Thank you for all the comfort you have unknowingly given me, your amazing outlook on life, and all the support you offer!

By: Afton

Afton — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:23:12 +0000

Thanks for sharing, Angela! I had not thought of a miscarriage as a time when you would mourn the loss of your pregnancy, but now that you mention it it makes perfect sense. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

By: Angela

Angela — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:34:07 +0000

I can relate to those feelings.

In addition to my two premature deliveries, from which I have three wonderful children, I have had three miscarriages. My first miscarriage was discovered at my 20-week ultrasound. I was given the option of a D&C, and I took it. I couldn’t face the thought of going through labor and not having a baby to take home afterward.

The worst part was the week or so following my loss. My milk came in, and I didn’t have a baby to feed it to. I became engorged and that just added to the pain of my loss. I began to wonder what was wrong with me.

My second and third miscarriages were between seven and eight weeks gestation.

Even when I was able to give birth to my beautiful children, I felt robbed of the last few months of my pregnancy. People thought I was crazy when I told them that, especially with the twins. “But you were so huge and looked so uncomfortable!” they would say. I was pregnant, and I loved every minute of it!

I still don’t understand why I am not able to carry my pregnancies to term. I would love to be able to experience that last month of horrible discomfort when you can’t sleep or move. I would love to be able to give birth and take my baby home with me when I am discharged from the hospital. I am hoping with my current pregnancy to be able to do so.