Our friends and family definitely have questions about our preemies, their birth and their health. I’ve created a little list of some of the most frequently asked questions we got when our son was born at 26 weeks. So the next time you get bombarded with a bunch of questions, take a break instead of racking your brain and share this article with your loved ones.
What is adjusted age vs. actual age?
This question abounds among family and friends who are so confused as to why you’re saying that your baby, who was born 4 months ago, is “1 month adjusted.” What is up?
Basically actual age, or chronological age, is based on when your baby was born. His adjusted age, or corrected age, is how old he would be according to his due date, if he was born “on time.” Babies who are born premature had much more developing to do inside the womb. Since they are having to do their developing outside the womb, we have to adjust their age accordingly. Since my son was 3 months premature, when he was 4 months old, doctors measured him, weighed him and checked his developmental progress by his adjusted age, which was 1 month old. If he was doing things typical of a 1-month old, he was “on track.”
Can’t baby just go home once he hits a certain weight?
Nope! There are many milestones baby must reach before he can go home, and weight is not an indicator that those goals have been accomplished. There are 10-pound babies in NICU who can’t breathe, and 4-pound babies who can. Before baby can go home, he must learn to breathe efficiently on his own, hold his own temperature and take all feedings by mouth, to name a few. Baby’s weight does not ensure that any of those milestones have been reached.
Will there be long-term developmental issues?
It is of course hard to say for sure! The risk is there. Thankfully, a preemie’s development is constantly monitored, usually up until at least 2 years old, so if there are any issues the hope is that it will be caught early. Many preemies have no long-term or even short-term developmental issues, but others do.
Will he be like a “typical” baby when he comes home?
The answer to this will be different for every preemie baby. Because honestly, for some, the answer is yes. We brought our son home one week past his due date, weighing 8lbs, 6ozs (a typical newborn weight), and he had no medical needs. He was like a perfectly “typical” newborn baby. But obviously there are many preemie parents who have to deal with oxygen machines, delays, medicines and special needs when baby comes home. And even still there are parents who were so traumatized by a premature birth and NICU stay, that nothing regarding their baby really feels “typical.”
I asked my husband what a common question was that he got about our son’s premature birth, and he said far and away this was his most frequently asked. What happened?
In my case I had Incompetent Cervix, in which the cervix dilates/shortens without contractions, so he said he had a fun time explaining to all his co-workers my condition by using his hands to form the shape of a cervix to demonstrate how it all works.
There are a number of conditions that can cause premature birth, including premature rupture of membranes (water breaking), placental problems and preeclampsia, but many women don’t have explanations for their premature birth.
A Very Common (Probably #1 Most Asked) Question: What are all the cords for?
Ah! How do I answer this? My husband loved telling people what all the cords did. I did not care to explain. But generally the cords are to monitor oxygen saturation and heart rate, in addition to tubes which are typically feeding tubes and breathing tubes to assist with breathing, which can be in either the nose or mouth. The tubes and the wires can certainly be intimidating but they will come off eventually!
Keep in mind that when others ask questions, they usually mean well. The majority of people are not versed in the NICU like you are. Answer their questions with patience and grace, in the hopes that they will begin to empathize and understand what you’ve been through.