Hand to Hold's official blog
When Caitlyn passed away at twelve-days-old our world shattered. Lost, alone, angry, broken and a feeling of being hollow was all I felt. My husband and I were sharing the grieving so it was unbearable to share our sadness with each other, it was so raw and too deep. I did go to therapy, once. [...]
In my state of irrational thinking, I knew it was my fault. There was no other logical explanation. I scolded myself for doing fertility treatments. I told myself I should have accepted that I wasn’t meant to have children. I was convinced this was punishment, through the suffering of my 25-weeker triplets, for my past wrongs. Guilt and self-deprecating thoughts weighed me down like a sodden blanket. And then, tragedy struck again when one of our daughters died suddenly at just 14 months. [Read more]
Kelli Kelley gives thanks for the medical advances her preemies had access to in the US and reflects on the emotional impact of the global epidemic of preterm birth around the world as shared through Born Too Soon: The Global Action Report on Preterm Birth. [Read more]
One of my greatest struggles as a mother who has lost a child is how to honor my daughter’s memory in a way that seems good enough The problem is, no matter what I do, no matter what I think of, it never seems grand enough or poignant enough to properly show the depth of [...]
Life does change after losing your child, forever. The world you knew crashes, crumbles and is never put back together. Life has changed, different and will never be the same. It is a new different, not the one you wanted but the one you have to live with the choice to live it. [Read more]
A friend of mine once told me: “Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may not owe.” Which is true! It is a hard concept to put into practice as parents of babies whose lives are in jeopardy, but if we can allow ourselves to let go of the worry and the “what ifs”, even for a few hours, we create an opportunity for ourselves and our partners to focus on the day at hand. We should ask ourselves: What can we do today to be involved in our baby’s care? How can we show our baby we love him/her? What can we celebrate today? [Read more]
Avery and Lily are my surviving 25 weeker triplets, now 5 ½ years old. Their sister Zoe lived for 14 months before succumbing to a secondary infection after being hospitalized with flu and pneumonia. Lately, they’ve been asking a lot of questions. “Mommy, is Zoe a baby or a big girl in Heaven?” “I’m going [...]
This tribute was submitted by Angela. Rachel was brought into our family on November 25, 2003, with her twin brother, Sam. Being our first children, they quickly became best friends. They could always be found together playing, coloring or reading. Rachel was the little mommy of our household. When we were teaching Sam and Rachel [...]
Alexia Pearce delivered her little boy at 23-weeks and says now, “If I’d known then what I do now, I’d have wanted him to die in my arms.” Take a moment to read her incredible story of now 3-year old Nathan and his inevitable premature death. Alexia wishes to raise awareness of the important decisions [...]
Hand to Hold is a nonprofit 501(c)3 parent support organization and information and resources provided here do not intend to take the place of the relationship between a patient and personal physician.