Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Learning the Language of Grief: Telling a Twinless Twin About Their Twin

My son woke up tonight from a nightmare. He told me his best friend was dead. As a parent of a twinless twin, the symbolism was very difficult for me. A best friend. Dead. Could the image in his nightmare have been his brother? How do you go about telling a little boy that there […]

Mourning a Loss That Doesn’t Quite Have a Name: Grief and Loss in the NICU

I think it’s safe to say it’s happened to most of us NICU parents. That piercing feeling, almost like a knife inside, that strikes when you least expect it; in fact, when you’re likely to feel the most ashamed and/or hurt by it. When you see a pregnant woman striding down the street, clearly weeks later […]

Honest Grief: From Being Strong To Being Real

In the six and a half years since my 14 month old daughter died, I have read numerous books about losing a baby, grief, grief recovery, spirituality and grief, the stages of grief (they don’t exist) and so on. I’ve read stories of mothers who lost babies, young children and adult children. Husbands who lost […]

If Only I Had…

It was a cold, clear day in February, the sun was shining through the windows of our playroom and my daughters, Avery and Lily were busy investigating a new toy, pushing every button and making every song sing over and over and over again.  Unfortunately, their sister Zoe was not feeling her best.  She had […]

When You Have Nothing to Celebrate

Mother’s Day is coming up, but she won’t be celebrating it. In fact, she’s dreading it. You see, her baby was born too early. Too early to breathe on his own. Too early to fight the hard, long road called prematurity. Too early to make her a mother in society’s eyes… Born at 24 weeks, […]