Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Bearing Witness to Pain After a Trauma

Many people have strong reactions to and opinions about being told, “everything happens for a reason.” I recently read an article that equated these words to “nothing less than emotional, spiritual and psychological violence.”

I know while my son was clinging to life in the NICU I would not have wanted anyone to tell me his early birth held deeper philosophical meaning that would make me a better person. But I also can’t deny the fact that 16 years later, my life has been transformed in ways I could never of imagined. [Read more]

Finding Community in the NICU

The day my water broke, I was on my way to my baby shower. I was expected to get showered with presents, funny stories and enjoy my swollen baby belly for another two months. But Bree had other plans. I woke up in a puddle, and before I knew it, I was rushing to the […]

“Mama, Carry You!” How My Preemie Taught Me to Walk

Sometimes I resented it like crazy that I had to ask to hold my preemie. Then, to make it that much worse, sometimes it felt like he was being yanked from my arms. And sometimes he was because he had stopped breathing. Another time, a nurse actually reprimanded me for holding him too much because, […]

Mourning a Different Kind of Loss

As I look back at the NICU journey of my 25.5 weeker, I am incredibly thankful for the beautiful baby boy who has shown me true strength and determination. He has been a fighter from day one and been through more in 9 months than most deal with in a lifetime. What a blessing it has been to witness this miracle grow and develop from a fragile 1 lb 8 oz micropreemie to a 14 lb 4 oz “big” boy.

Despite how blessed I feel for how far we have come, as I look at my stack of maternity clothes in my closet, I am constantly reminded of the last 14 weeks of pregnancy I was never able to experience. [Read more]

Learning the Language of Grief: Telling a Twinless Twin About Their Twin

My son woke up tonight from a nightmare. He told me his best friend was dead. As a parent of a twinless twin, the symbolism was very difficult for me. A best friend. Dead. Could the image in his nightmare have been his brother? How do you go about telling a little boy that there […]