Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Yearning for connection after miscarriage

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. For more information on grief and healing, visit Hand to Hold’s bereavement resources.  I have never liked visions of heaven that have it be a separate place, a place where we float as souls disconnected from our bodies. You know, the halo, the harp and the clouds? […]

{Book Review} Soon

We were graciously given a copy of Soon for review. All words and opinions are that of the blog author. What happens when a baby is born weeks or months before their due date? Soon takes the reader on a hopeful journey, honoring the fighting spirit of a preemie along the way. As preemie parents, […]

A Letter to NICU parents

Dear NICU parent, First of all, congratulations on bringing life into this world! I don’t know how you got to this point. Whether your labor was long or short. Whether this moment was a surprise or a day that you have been anticipating after months on bedrest. I do know that it is ok to […]

Mourning a Different Kind of Loss

As I look back at the NICU journey of my 25.5 weeker, I am incredibly thankful for the beautiful baby boy who has shown me true strength and determination. He has been a fighter from day one and been through more in 9 months than most deal with in a lifetime. What a blessing it has been to witness this miracle grow and develop from a fragile 1 lb 8 oz micropreemie to a 14 lb 4 oz “big” boy.

Despite how blessed I feel for how far we have come, as I look at my stack of maternity clothes in my closet, I am constantly reminded of the last 14 weeks of pregnancy I was never able to experience. [Read more]

Speaking to the Unspeakable: Lifting the Stigma Around Mental Health After the NICU

When my surviving son was finally discharged from the NICU, he cried for about three months straight. Literally. My husband and I called it the daily “witching hour”, though it was hardly an hour. It lasted on average from 3-8pm daily (in addition to other fussy moments). We researched and researched ways of soothing him. We tried driving, swaddling, babywearing, swinging, reflux meds, playing music (The Velvet Underground and Nico was his favorite album), singing, dancing, jumping around holding him on our shoulder, rubbing his back, going outside, and all kinds of folkloric colic remedies that came to no particularly different outcomes. I was exhausted, deflated, and my feelings of guilt and shame with preterm birth were compounded by the idea that now that I was finally able to be Elliott’s sole provider as a newly stay-at-home mom, I was failing even at that. [Read more]