Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Thanking My Husband on Father’s Day: Showing Love in the NICU

My husband was not new to being a dad when our preemie was born 3 months before her due date. In fact, as our third child and third daughter at that, he felt experienced and confident as we looked forward to her birth. That changed when we found ourselves looking at her through the barrier […]

Rewriting the Story of a Partnership After Crisis: NICU Healing

The day after my son William died, my husband and I went to the hospital to see his twin Elliott in the NICU. We had agreed that being near Elliott would be the only thing that would feel ok that day. We were both mostly silent. I remember feeling very otherworldly, very distant from the reality that was spinning, beeping, screaming around us, very distant from John. Everything seemed to have a cold fog around it, embodying the environment. There was this watery, grey feeling like nothing was really there, including me. The only comfort was staring at sweet Elliott under the bili lights, waiting for the quick moments when the nurses would do his cares and we would briefly be able to look into each other’s eyes (or at least I could gaze into his).

The nurse practitioner who was on shift that day came over to John and I, and related how sorry she was about William’s passing. With tears in her eyes, she told us that Elliott, so far, was doing well for his gestational age. And then she turned to us, making eye contact. She told us that she believed we would make it through this together, that our relationship was strong, that even though many families don’t make it through in one piece, she thought we would be one of the few to make it. [Read more]

Kangaroo Care and Beyond: Building Attachment with Your Baby, One Hug at a Time

For me, attachment was one of those things. One of THOSE things. It gave me a pang when for the first couple months of my son’s life I had to ask permission to hold him. I had been one of those moms that had hoped to have my boys laid on my chest after birth, to […]

The NICU And Your Relationship

Anger, hurt, joy, fear, excitement, overwhelmed, and happy.  The list could go on forever.  Those are all emotions we may feel while having a baby in the NICU.  I know I felt each of those, along with others, at least once during our stay.  You may hear of time in the NICU as a roller […]