Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

When One Twin Goes Home First

January 27, 2009 was the day that we had been anticipating for ten long weeks.  One of our babies was finally coming home!  We were so excited.  I had finally had my baby shower that weekend and had spent all day Monday organizing the nursery and putting the pack and play together for Lindsay’s homecoming.

We got up that Tuesday morning, put the car seat in the car, and headed to the hospital.  We arrived at the Special Care Unit (the girls had graduated to this unit a couple of weeks before), scrubbed in, and went to get our little girl.  It was only when we saw Sophie laying there in her bassinet that our excitement faded.  We weren’t just taking Lindsay home; we were leaving Sophie behind.  No longer would she have her sister there to give her strength and we would not be able to be there all day long since we would have a newborn at home.  I looked at Rick and the tears started flowing.

Rick and I stayed at the hospital that day for a couple of hours.  My heart felt like it was going to literally break when it was time to go.  I held Sophie, told her that I loved her, and that I would be back that night to see her.  She looked up at me as if to say, “It’s okay, Mama.  I get it.”  I placed her in her bassinet and walked out the door crying hysterically.

It is so hard to leave one twin at the hospital while you take the other one home.  We felt like we were abandoning Sophie and it was the worst feeling in the world.  It was very hard to be at the hospital as much as we wanted to since we were trying to get Lindsay situated at home and we were so nervous about leaving her with anyone after the rough road she and her sister had. 

I am happy to say that on February 8, 2009, Sophie came home.   It was the happiest day of our lives.


  1. Kimberly,

    I’m so glad both your girls are home now! Wow, I can’t even begin to imagine having one home and one in the hospital! They were apart for 2 weeks?


  2. I didn’t have twins in the NICU but I had one son in the NICU and a 1 year old at home. Every time I had to leave one to be with the other I felt horrible. I just wanted both of my babies at home! You never plan for the NICU stay you think I’m goin to have my babies and bring them home. So it was a lot of ups and downs being away from one while the other was some where else. Now they are both home (as of 2 days ago) and it’s a whole new adventure! I’m so happy that both of your girls are home with you and congrats on surviving the NICU$

  3. I felt just like her, crying when I left 1 boy in the NICU and took the other one home. 1 of my boys got to come home a week before the other one. Such guilt leaving one there, I even put a picture of his brother in his bassinet so he could see him. The was the first time having the guilt with twins. There is so much guilt with twins and trying to make sure you do everything equally.

  4. I really understand how she felt one of my twin girls came home at 4 1/2 months old and her sister came home at 14 months old! i also put a picture of her sister in her crib, and once she was transfered to the childrens hospital from the nicu at 8 months old i was finally able to bring her in to see her sister, even then my family did not feel whole, it was’t until the day she finally came home that i felt whole!! those 14 months were so so hard. words can not express how it makes a parent feel.

  5. Pamela, i was just reading what you wrote and felt for you, my daughter was prem born at 23 weeks and she was in hospital for 3.5mnths, that seemed so long and we were pleased to have her home before her due date, i couldnt imagine having a baby in hospital for 14 months…i wish you all the best for your family…

  6. @ Pamlela– My daughter was in the NICU, for 5 months 3, alone. Her sisters came home within 2 months. It was very hard having 2 home, and then seeing her and leaving her behind. I only had to do it for 3 months, I couldn’t even imagine what you went through. It must have been very hard.. How is your daughter doing now? Is everything ok. Girl A, Isabella eats by a G-TUBE and also had a level 4 brain bleed.

  7. My twins were born at 24 weeks gestation at the University of Washington nearly 17 years ago. How lucky I am to have them both. I brought home my daughter 1st and had a baby shower without her brother. The whole situation tore my heart out. I’m sure it is easy for you to understand why my eyes well up with tears reading your situation. Right now my heart is full for you and your wonderful family all being together now. Congratulations!

  8. Thank you all for sharing your stories with me. We are all blessed to have our babies home. My daughters are now 2 and are both doing great. And the one who came home second? She was just exited from early intervention because her language is that of a 3 year old! Miracles happen every day!

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