Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

Your Next Pregnancy

I don’t know how all of you women felt after losing your first baby or delivering your first baby prematurely, but I was absolutely determined to believe that my first experience was a fluke.  I was in complete denial that there might be something wrong with my body, that I couldn’t conceive healthy children, or that I should be concerned about having another baby.  I simply knew that because I was young and healthy my childbearing future was bright.

What a fool I was!

Even if my first experience with prematurity and loss had been a fluke, I wish I had been mature enough to face reality and accept the possibility that there might be something wrong, or that the same thing could, and likely would, happen to me again.  If I had only been willing to prepare for another preterm labor and delivery, just in case, the experiences surrounding my 27-weeker’s birth would not have been quite so traumatic.  If I had prepared and then gone full-term then at least there’s no harm in that!

I advise you that, whatever the reason was that you delivered prematurely, you accept that you will be high-risk for your next pregnancy, do some research on your complication so that you can be more prepared for it the second time, expect to have another preemie, and prepare yourself physically, emotionally, and financially to go through the same thing again.  This way you will not be taken by surprise, you will already have arrangements made to take care of you and your family if the same should happen again, and you will be stronger and more proactive in yours and your baby’s care.  And, by being so aware you might be able to take part in a research study about your condition, try some new procedures or medications that might help during your pregnancy, or prevent some of the problems that led to your condition.  It’s always best to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

My first two deliveries were extremely traumatic because I was completely unprepared for them.  I couldn’t even go home to get a comb and my toothbrush!  If only I had realized sooner that I was not the exception.

Be wise and accept reality.  If you end up not having any troubles and deliver full-term then you’ll just be even more ecstatic and grateful!  No harm done.

Let me know your thoughts on the subject.  Were any of you unprepared for your second delivery or were you prepared and had success?  I would love to hear!

Afton Mower About Afton Mower

After Mower (UT) lost her firstborn son at 21 weeks.  Her daughter was born a year and a half later at 27 weeks.  The NICU was overwhelming and isolating and it was through those two experiences she was led to found this social hub for parents to find the support they needed. Afton also gave birth to another daughter, born two days overdue after four months of strict bedrest. She believes it is a tender experience to hold a special baby in your arms when his spirit returns to his heavenly home, a miracle to watch tiny babies survive the risks of prematurity and a blessing to hold a healthy full-term baby after months of difficulty and sacrifices.


  1. I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Ever sence having preeclampsia I have been telling myself that it won’t happen again and everything will go completely normal with my next pregnancy, but just the last little while I have come to a realization that that might not happen. It was just interesting to read this post at the time I did because I have been thinking about this subject so much lately. Thanks for your advice!

  2. With my first pregnancy I delivered early due to pre-eclampsia and was told by my doctor that the probability of having this complication again was only about 20% so we were optimistic. However shortly before getting pregnant for the second time I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease which increased my chances for having pre-e again (and was probably the cause the first time). So when we got pregnant with our second we were hopeful that we would go full term but prepared to have another preemie. I’m so glad we did because when I delivered early again we were prepared for what to expect. However, if I had not been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease we probably would not have expected another preemie and been unprepared again.

  3. My 1st daughter was full term, my 2nd was 8wks premature. It was unclear whether I had an incompetent cervix or preterm labor or a combination of the 2 that caused my early delivery. My OB told me her plans for my next pregnancy when my 2nd was only about 6mo, lol. But I was grateful for the proactive approach regardless of what caused the premature delivery. My cervical length was closely monitored from about 14wks with my 3rd and I got the 17P shots as well but I showed evidence of funneling and contracting around 20wks. It seemed my issue was a combination and the contracting prevented a cerclage from being placed. It seemed all measures were taken to prevent another preemie, but 5 hospitalizations between 20 and 27wks, 3 rounds with mag and 2 rounds of steriods,home monitoring and a terb pump later my water broke and I had my 3rd 12.5 wks early. We were prepared yet it happened anyway. We will be even more so prepared next time. An automatic cerclage at 14 weeks to hopefully delay the start of contracting. But it will be a little while, my youngest is only 5mo old today and fortunately doing amazingly well.

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