Hand to Hold's Official Blog: Written by Parents for Parents

You’re Pregnant – Read All About It!

Okay, this is not just a shout out, but a plea to all of you women who are pregnant, maybe for the first time, to read books about pregnancy and educate yourself on what’s happening to your body and your growing baby.  Why?  Because if you don’t understand what’s happening to your body then you will never recognize when something is happening that shouldn’t be happening.

I am addressing this because I was a naive woman when I first got pregnant and I assumed that because I was young and healthy nothing bad could happen to me.  I had been married just a few short months when I got pregnant for the first time.  I was nervous about having a baby and often got queasy and jittery when I read about pregnancy and delivery, so I just stopped reading about it and I determined that everything would go smoothly because my mom and six sisters had all had plenty of healthy babies, why wouldn’t I?

Unfortunately I went into labor just one day after my 21 week appointment and because I knew nothing about labor and delivery I did not recognize the signs that I was in labor.  I kept dismissing my pains mostly because I was afraid of embarrassing myself if I ran to a hospital ER and nothing serious was really happening, but also because I simply didn’t imagine that I could be in labor – I was barely  halfway through my pregnancy!  By the time it was clear to me that I was in labor it was too late to stop my delivery and my first baby boy was born at just 21 weeks and 2 days gestation.  His heart beat for just under an hour and he passed away quietly in our arms.

I know this is an extreme example of what can happen if you don’t educate yourself, but that day I learned that I was not the exception.  Frightening things could happen to me, and therefore they could happen to anyone.  Had I taken the time to educate myself about pregnancy and the signs of delivery, even minimally, I could have recognized what was happening to me much sooner and perhaps gotten help in time to prolong my pregnancy.

My urging for all of you is to learn as much as you can about your body, about pregnancy, and about labor and delivery so that you understand when something begins to happen.  Be prepared, ask questions, and don’t ever hesitate or be afraid to call your doctor if you feel something is happening that shouldn’t be.  Be proactive and you will be much more comfortable with the outcome of your pregnancy, whatever it may be.

Afton Mower About Afton Mower

After Mower (UT) lost her firstborn son at 21 weeks.  Her daughter was born a year and a half later at 27 weeks.  The NICU was overwhelming and isolating and it was through those two experiences she was led to found this social hub for parents to find the support they needed. Afton also gave birth to another daughter, born two days overdue after four months of strict bedrest. She believes it is a tender experience to hold a special baby in your arms when his spirit returns to his heavenly home, a miracle to watch tiny babies survive the risks of prematurity and a blessing to hold a healthy full-term baby after months of difficulty and sacrifices.


  1. afton,

    i am so thankful that you, and your babies are doing great. I didn’t realize the health risks your babies were going through when you were pregnant. i am sorry for not paying close attention. i could have been a better friend and expressed my symphaty. I’m glad you are informing us about preemies; it can happen to everyone.

Speak Your Mind